One bite at a time...

My life has gone awry. 

I have endless to do lists. The flat is a mess. I need to de-junk, um, well, everything (me and hubble are both hoarders- not good). My days are without rhythm or rhyme, full to burst without getting anything done. Spending money without buying anything. 

Aaargh! Help!

I need to make my life simpler...

Hooray for Simple Mom. I am a massive fan of this site but I never find the time to go back over the reams of incredibly good advice let alone put it into practice. But clever Tsh has made a book for all you people just like me. One bite at a time puts together all the best advice to make your life simpler, greener, cheaper, even happier in one place broken into easy to digest bite size chunks. 

There are 52 project in all, all of which I will be trying to complete. 

Starting with No.1 eat your frog!

Wish me luck

Images courtesy of Simple Mom

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Lounge Lover

Source: designismine.blogspot.com via With Bells On on Pinterest

Source: mobelpobel.blogspot.com via With Bells On on Pinterest

Source: convoy.tumblr.com via With Bells On on Pinterest

Source: ohdeedoh.com via With Bells On on Pinterest

Source: abeautifulmess.typepad.com via With Bells On on Pinterest

Source: ikeafamilylive.com via With Bells On on Pinterest

So, the house is taking a wee bit longer to get sorted than anticipated and my thoughts are turning to decorating. I am really struggling with which direction to go in. I had been thinking bright and bold but everything that I find and love seems to be a lot more subdued which small splashes of colour. I have a general idea, but I am just itching to get in there and start fiddling with furniture and seeing what to add and where. I am so impatient. I hate having to walk out of there and trudge back to our little flat. I can't wait for the day it is really ours.

Soon, soon, soon.

x

I don't know how they do it

I am exhausted. Worn out. Monologued out. Played out.

Hubble is over at the new house. He's been there pretty much since dawn and will be there until long after dusk. He is working so hard. But the stress is getting to me.

I love being a Mummy. I really do. Bean is the most amazing child and is, pretty much, always a delight to be  around, but I'm baby'ed out. I am just longing for a snippet of baby free time. To go to the toilet without her gorgeous little face appearing from around the corner to check that I'm still there. Not to be on alert for the first cries from the bedroom. Not to be clearing up her food or making more of it. Even, just to get some of the housework done!

Just. To. Stop.

For a moment.

I have a new found respect for single parents. In my moments, when full of anger, in an argument, I've thought I'd be happier going it alone. I now know how wrong I was. Without the tiny little things, helps and breaks that seem so insignificant, it is like scaling an endless mountain. It makes me love and respect my own mummy all the more for the never ending time, effort and love she gave us. Also, I thank the stars for finding my sweet, kind (forgiving of my mad ravings) man.

So, to all the mummies and daddies climbing a mountain alone, my heart goes out to you. You are so strong and so brave. I hope one day your babies will look at you, see that too and be thankful for all that you have done.

x

Image by Honeycomb

Getting my craft on

Whilst pregnant I managed to get my bee-hind back into gear and started making and doing again.

I had some failures and I had some successes.

Enough time has now passed (almost 8 months, eek!) it is very much time for me to jump back in the crafting saddle. I still have a list as long as my arms (true, my arms aren't that long but they are long enough!) to beaver my way through.

First things first I have a half finished monkey eating cake languishing in my drawers. Wish me luck!

x

Our prayers have been answered...

We are moving! Hurrah!

This...

Is to become this...

It is definitely what you would call a fixer upper, but it's a house. A whole house, with stairs all of our own. I can hardly imagine such a thing. It is only being rented so we don't have free reign over it, but what we do have is two floors, three bedrooms and a whole heap of space to fill. Oh, and a garden, A GARDEN! I can't explain how incredibly happy this makes me.

Hopefully this means Bean will start sleeping again without the constant sirens; no longer sleeping next to the kitchen. I may get more than 40 minutes at a time to myself. Such things are surely just fantasy. But I can dream and, gosh darn it, I will! Hip hip hooray!

x

Pop up Poundshop

The pop up Poundshop is back again for the 2011 London Design Festival and this time they're online. Hoorah! In all 48 designers have taken part and are this year selling items for £1, £5 and £10. If you're in East London pop down and take a peak, if not get yourself on the web!

We will be purchasing the boy/girl pilliowcases, dog day print and ice lolly cards. What do you have your eye on?

x

Our Home

I want to love our home. I really do.

But every time I think

"It's alright, we can do this, we can live here"

or

start planning to make it beautiful, to stay, to settle.

I am reminded; my plans and plots fall way to despair again.

As I type this another siren blasts past our window.

I can smell unknown youths using our stairwell as a smoking den.

The thumping beat from the balkan dance party happening on a floor below us.

 I can also hear my daughter stirring again as the intruders break her sleep. Again.

Not all of our neighbours are so selfish or loud.

The other flat on our floor contains someone much nicer, a constant reminder of what this place once was, lovely Molly. It used to be Molly and Wally until Wally recently passed away.

Now we see Molly for tea a lot more.

Wally was the Mayor of Waltham Forest. They lived here together for 60 years, they raised a family, they watched people come and go. They watched the community around them change, their family raised a family. Now that family is raising a family and still they were here. Now it is just Molly. With her tales of the residents, the concerts thrown by the children who all lived, grew up, played, learnt together in this block of flats. When once everyone knew each other. When everyone cared, looked after and was proud of these flats.

How I am nostalgic for a time I never knew. How I want to walk out of my front door and greet the many people I know on the stairs. To stroll down to the bakers to buy bread without the harsh glare of strip lighting and aisles.

These are just fancies, impossible dreams. I can not alter the world beyond my door in this fashion. I can not expect the other residents to change their lives to suit mine or to alter the routes of policemen and ambulances. So I will look behind my door for now.

There is so much that I love here. We have been here for many years. In many ways Hubble and I have grown up here together. We were so young when we bought it. Just babies really. We made so many mistakes when buying it. We didn't know what we were doing. It was just a starter place, never intended as somewhere to start a family. We treated it as a place to crash, to bring friends in the early hours of the morning and drink until late in the night. To be the unruly neighbours.

No matter how beautiful it is on the inside, the outside will still be there. No matter how much I ice it, it will still be what it is.

We need to find a home. One where I can step outside and smile. One where I can feel safe and cosy when I walk through my front door.

It's time for a change.

Where do you live? Do you love it? Do you hate it? Why?

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