As we tip-toe closer to the end of our time here we need to start making choices about what our future holds for us. Making plans has alway been a habit of mine, the plans are incredibly fluid and prone to change but in my little notebook there will always be an extensive plan outlining our goals and thoughts for the next few years. These plans were usually quite ambitious but always a little way in the future, but now, after our somewhat sudden upheaval, everything has been brought to the present, without our things we no longer have the ties that we were hiding behind, the reasons not to do the adventurous things, the exciting things we dreamt of.
But, I realise now how torn I am, how much I miss the comfort of our day to day existence, the friends, the activities, the joy of a warm house. I know when our time here has come to an end how heavy my heart will be, how much being close to my family has meant to me, the opportunity for my family to get to know Bean and Little Bit a bit better, the chance to reconnect with old friends. I know tomorrow is full of adventure and excitement, the golden suns and splashing waves that my heart is yearning for on these blustery grey days but no blue sky or warm breeze will take away our need for those we love, for our friends and our families.
We want so much to learn and explore but are coming to realise that we will also still need roots, a home in-between wanderings, and that roots need to be planted somewhere, but the question is where? How can we marry our conflicting wants and needs? So we are trying to answer these questions and paint a vision of our future that makes our hearts sing. I am hoping soon that we will be able to share it with you. For now we will sit in the present, drinking in the things that make this moment special before our world changes again.
This week I am grateful for...
- Nights where we are all in-sync
- Ice cream and catch ups
- Good friends
- Sharing a weathered smile
- Moments alone with Bean
- Smooth skin and button noses
- Knowing that even on bad days the love is still there
- Moments of laughter on days filled with tears
- A rare blue sky
