We are trying to move Bean into her cot. It is now over 5 months and I haven't spent a night without her by my side, but our bed is just too small for three. For just over a month poor, sweet hubble has been relegated to the sofa bed on an almost nightly basis and, although he sleeps like a log there, we need to be side by side too. So the gradual easing out has begun. I hate it.
I had never planned to bed share, we had bought a bed nest which attached to our bed and I thought that would be enough. But as it turned out the only place she slept well was wrapped in my arms and for many months we were blissfully happy. But then her endless need to fart and to flail whilst doing so began; my blissful slumber was getting less and less blissful. So now the time has come. So far the longest we have made it was to 3am before she returns to my arms and hubble to the sofa. I can't sleep without her. I lay awake waiting for her cry and to bring her back to my side. I have considered buying a single mattress to add to ours to make one big family bed. We both sleep so much better side by side. I think hubble thinks I'm mad, but that short distance between the cot and the bed feels like a chasm to me. I don't know what to do.
I know society says she should be in her own bed (and room and house and blah) but my instincts tell me she's not ready to be ejected from the family bed quite yet. Does anyone else bed share? Can anyone offer me any advice? Please help.
Hi Crystal,
ReplyDeleteIt was nice to see you at Justine & Nik's Wedding. Iris is amazing!
So, for your post, yes, I am one of the big offender, we still co-sleep with her baby girl who’s nearly 18 months.
I feel sad that I have to lie about it most of the time because people think it’s wrong, inappropriate, etc.
I didn’t plan co-sleeping either, it just happen naturally.
When I was breastfeeding Anais, it was just easier to have her in bed with me. Then we tried to put her in a cot attached to our bed, but somehow, she would always come back cuddling to me.
I tried many times to put her in her cot, in her own bedroom, but it always ended-up in a drama. Anais would make herself sick because she was so distressed and did not understand why I didn’t want her with us, and I would cry and be really stressed out. What was the point of all that? No one was happier, no one slept better, it was just to say that she could be in her won bed… And, she came back with us.
I finally try putting her again in her bedroom but this time in a toddler bed where I could lie next to her giving her a cuddle and read her a story, and she would fall asleep.
This is working well, even though she will still wake up during the night, and I will still take her to bed with us. And you know what, I just love it!
That said, I hope when we have a next one, she’ll be in her bedroom, because I can’t imagine having 2 babies in bed with us!
Sorry for this long message. Hope it all works out well for you.
Flo X
Thank you for the long message. There are days at the moment that are a struggle and knowing that there are other Mums out there going through the same things soothes my soul. Anais is such a happy little bean so it's obviously working well for her! At the moment Iris is put down in her cot and in bed between 12-2ish. I love having her with me but it's so hard on Mark because he feels pushed out, fairly enough. I feel torn between my motherly instincts and my love for my husband. It sucks. I hope to see you next time I am in Bath, perhaps we could go to the park! x
ReplyDeleteMy darling ladies, you both are doing such a brilliant job that i would 'keep calm and carry on' is that the saying?
ReplyDeleteI unfortunatly couldnt breastfeed but i know that if i did Eva would be stuck to my side in bed with me until she was ready to leave!
Do what you think is right at the time, im sure she will love the space when the time is right as Eva did :)Justxxxxxxxxxxxxx